When is a dream not a dream?
by Tesefel
Summary: Riddick is in charge of the Necromongers, but he wants nothing to do with them. A purifier offers him something more; where will that offer lead him? Little drabble I thought up years ago and finally got the inspiration to poke at. Reader-insert/Riddick. Might update if the muse strikes me.


You wake up suddenly, check your alarm because for some reason it didn't go off and you're pretty sure you're late for class. But when you look at the time, it's the middle of the night. You must have had a bad dream or something; that's what woke you up. You glance around the room as you tug on the blankets to roll

"What the fuck!"

"I gotta say that's not the worst greeting I ever got."

There's a dark figure right there sitting near your bed in the dark about where your desk chair would be but he's way too big to fit in your chair so WHAT THE FUCK and his voice is all gravelly this is by far the weirdest, realest dream you've had in a good long while

"This is weird," is all you can think to say. Really, you certainly feel awake but obviously you're dreaming, so why not enjoy the lucid dreaming while it lasts? You saw "Waking Life" a while ago and the concept isn't entirely foreign to you. You go with it.

"So who are you?" Maybe this will turn out to be a really interesting dream and you can ponder it later while half-listening to your professor lecture about something-or-other.

"Name's Rick." His gravelly voice rings a bell, somehow. How can a dream man ring a bell? Well, dreams are based on some sort of reality, and you've heard that you can't dream up a face completely out of the blue – you have to have seen it somewhere, sometime – so it's not THAT surprising that you feel like you should know his voice. But….

"Do I know you?"

"Don't think so, sweetheart."

Sweetheart? Really? This dream is getting weirder and weirder. But his intonation, the humor you can hear underlying his words….

"No, I know you. I recognize your voice." You have to stick your foot in it, naturally. But it's a dream, what can it hurt? "From something…. A movie, maybe? Are you an actor?"

"Been called many things, but don't think that's one of 'em." Now the mocking is really prevalent, and you _almost_ have it.

"You're name's not Rick, is it?"

"What gave it away?" He's almost outright laughing now, like it's some joke between you. Honestly, you're starting to enjoy yourself. If every dream you had was banter with some humorous shadow-guy with a sexy voice you couldn't really complain!

"I don't know… I feel like I know you, that's all. What's your name, really?" Maybe he'll answer this

"Name's Riddick."

No. Fucking. Way.

This is the BEST. Dreams that feature random movie characters are rare, but enjoyable while they last, regardless of what the dream is actually about….but a dream in which Riddick is chilling in your desk chair, trading pointless convo with you? Best. Dream. Ever.

"Riddick? Richard B. Riddick?" Just to verify, of course.

"The fuck you know that?" Suddenly he's all business, no humor in his tone AT ALL. Like you seriously misstepped. Oops?

"Uh, you're a movie character?" That's all you can think of to say, really. You weren't expecting him to lash out when you named him!

"A what?"

"You're a character…in a movie? A film? You know, a story that moves on a –"

"I know what a movie is," he growls. "What I don't know is how the hell you know my name."

"Because you're a character in the movie." Now you're just getting impatient….if he knows what a movie is, he ought to know he's IN one, right? This dream is getting worse by the second and you're over it; you'd rather have one about trying to finish your history paper and your computer crashing or something. This is stupid.

There's a long silence while you stare at the huge shadow sitting near you and wonder why you can't proceed to the next dream-scenario. Finally the shadow speaks again, with Vin Diesel's voice.

"I'm a character…in a movie. That you've watched."

"…Yeah….?"

"So you know my name, huh?"

You might as well get it over with; maybe that'll speed up the dream and make it move the hell along. "Yeah. Richard B. Riddick, convict, murderer, yadda yadda. Escaped from however-many slams across the universe, whatever. There was a spaceship – the Hunter-Gratzner, right? – that crashed on some random planet and there were these creatures that only came out at night, and then there was a total eclipse and they ate everyone and you escaped with two people and then left them on another planet. And had Adventures-with-a-capital-A and then you had to come back to save Jack but then the Necromongers were dicks and screwed it all up and killed her and the end." You pause to take a breath. "Or something," you add helpfully.

There's an ominous silence. If this weren't all a trippy, trippy dream you'd be scared shitless, but as it is you're rather interested to find out what happens next.

"The fuck you know all that?" Honestly? He's getting repetitive.

"I TOLD you. You're a character-"

"Yeah, yeah, I heard you. In a vid. Find it a bit hard to believe, sweetheart. I guess it makes as much sense as the rest of this shit-storm, though," he muses.

Riddick? Musing? In your dream? It's time to forcibly move on.

"Yeah okay. Night." You roll over, try to ignore the shadowy presence. You think maybe you hear an amused huff from your desk chair but the air just turned on so maybe it's that. Hopefully that. This dream sucks.

A/N: I'm a bit rusty - If you feel the rating ought to be upped to M for the cursing, please advise. Otherwise, let me know what you think. I came up with this idea almost 8 years ago and only NOW was I inspired to put any of it in writing! I hope the muse sticks with me, but who knows.


End file.
